Free-Expression not Entirely Free

2009-03-15T16:07:00.001-07:00

When it comes to your teen how many times have you been told not to fuss over long hair, a messy room, or torn jeans?

There are important issues that arise when we consider dress and grooming. When a teen acts out, look at his or her attire and frequently you will find a statement being made about themselves, their family and their perception of society.

My personal belief is that patterns of dress, affiliation with popular trends in music, dress and hair style says a lot about where the mind of a teenager is focused.

It is easy to fall into popular parenting traps of complete and absolute acceptance. Don't buy this concept for a minute. You could lose your teen to a world of misfits if you hold to this idea for very long.

There is much to be said for a teen who dresses well, takes care of their body, is neat and clean, and a healthy desire to dress modestly and in a generally conservative fashion, make a positive projection to the world.

Sometimes it even matters more than grades and pure accomplishment. Put two teens side by side. One with a neat and clean appearance and the other with a sloppy, disheveled look. I will be bet you a dollar the clean one gets the job.

Employers are not looking to mar their public image and a teen focused on a fad or style that lends negatively will almost always be behind from the beginning.

It is important to be careful when addressing these issues as many teens as well as adults will cry foul if you are perceived in any way to tamper with "free-expression".

The United States used to be a more neat and comely society. In many respects much more regarded and admired. Much of this had to do with appearances almost more than performance.

Lets use whatever influence we can to steer our teens in a higher and more noble direction than the popular trends of the day would have us go.

If we do I am certain our teens will find greater success and a power to overcome challenges with much more confidence.

Teenage Years, A Pivot Point

2009-02-24T02:04:00.000-08:00

What do we do with these teenagers? I think there is much that can be learned from our own experience growing up.

What have we been telling our children by how we act? Do we foster positive communication? Do we demand or make expectations that overwhelm a minor’s ability to deal with the world around them. Are we too permissive? Do we promote an environment in our children’s lives that give them a sense of entitlement? That something is owed to them?

It is time to make the decision to be better teachers, leaders, parents, and counselors to help the rising generation become more successful, responsible members of neighborhoods, communities, nations and the world. It may surprise you but your child is looking to you for guidance. He or she is looking and searching for the answers that you need to provide. They are scrambling and frequently end up filling in the blanks themselves. They have questions that you do not want to have answered by the world. You want to answer those questions and concerns based upon your personal values and understanding from personal experience.

I work in a local middle school working with teen’s everyday. I find that their world is a complete whirlwind of information, distraction and change. Yes, distraction because there are influences today pulling them directions never seen in the history of the world. Peer pressure is stronger than ever to do the “popular” thing. There are standards of grooming, living, morality, modesty that are being attacked. I see attitudes of respect shot to pieces. It appears more than ever positive demeanor, self-respect, integrity, and personal responsibility are under specific assault.

I remember a meeting with a parent early in the school year who stated that because a friend betrayed his son, (by telling the truth) it was a betrayal. I told this parent that if he felt someone’s choice to exercise integrity was a betrayal then there was nothing I had to say to him. This is the world we live in.Parents are stressed today and the effects are projected to their children, with everyone else to blame and always an excuse few seem to be exercising personal responsibility. By the way the parents of this teen removed this child from our school because of me.

What do we do? This question has been asked many times and if we do not look at it responsibly it could result in continuing to let it go until everything is out of control.

It is important to begin by making a decision right now to be responsible for yourself and your family. It is time to do the right thing for our families and our children and our future.

If you want an option to help deal with your teenager visit: Click Here!

The Teen Disease, Symptoms and Cure

Free-Expression not Entirely Free

Teenage Years, A Pivot Point